Why?

Un-answering the unanswerable.

Why?

We have so many 'why's' in our daily life. And though I haven't stopped wondering 'why', I have really contemplated my motive for asking that question time and time again. Usually my motive is to 'get what I want', like an older toddler being told, "No!" while reaching for his third helping of cake. There is no sense in the words 'because it will make you sick' until the toddler experiences the tummy ache 20 minutes later. And Mommy says, "I told you that would make you sick."

Sometimes my "why" is just an out and out complaint - "Why did she have to die?" In that moment my emotional pain is crying out "My life has been altered and this effects me. It hurts", but the answer to my question may not have a true reason that we can see from this earthly perspective.

Why did my friend have to die now? Why wasn't my Mom healed?

Why? Why? Why?

The challenge I am coming to learn about questioning "why" is to unfold my purpose in asking. And if my purpose in asking 'why' is to challenge my Authority, get what I want, I'm asking the writ question.

When my teens ask me why I made a decision (more often it comes out as "Why Not?!") they usually aren't satisfied that I lay out a blanket of reasoning and answers. They're questioning me because they know I've made the wrong decision and telling me I need to change my mind.

Wow. In all my human-ness, what gave me the authority to challenge my Creator and make Him change His mind so I get what I want?

I can answer that one.

Lack of trust in God and self pride.

I know better. I am in control. If I were given the chance I would have a better outcome.

But in reality, none of that is true.

In reality I am strongest when I am weak. I have limited vision and can only see what's surrounding me. I don't know better, nor do I know every detail to every situation, including my own.

But God Does.

He knows all, sees, all, and is all. So, let me lay down my rights, and trust.

My friends and family who have passed, I will see them again. Certainly it hurts when they pass from this life to the next - but the reason it hurts is because I care about them, and I like having them here so we can help one another - and I'll miss them.

I can trust that God can get me through the rest of this life on earth until I get to see Him, and my loved ones who have relied on Him too - face to face.

I pray God forgives and my questioning His Authority and increases my trust.

Here's hoping that my little personal meandering has helped you in some way. Blessings, friends. <3