Do I love my kids enough?

"Good bye". I left my son at his on campus apartment to begin his Senior year of college. I hugged him as long as he wanted, I kissed his cheek, uttered words of pride and instruction, hopped in my car and jetted back to the other side of the state. Earlier this summer, my young teenage daughter hopped on a bus to travel many miles for a ministry opportunity. Again, I allowed her to hug me as long as she wanted, whispered words of love and encouragement, then I left her side. This time I hung around only because some of my good friends were seeing their children off on the same journey, and they have a tradition of staying until all the vehicles safely leave the parking lot. I noticed that many Moms were crying, some were chatting about the challenge of the week they were facing without Junior around.

This scene really caused me to ponder if I even love my kids - or at least dig for the depth of love. I couldn't muster up a tear - and I never really have. First day of school, graduation, mission trips, college, even a journey to Europe...nope, I've not cried for any of that.

Hey, don't judge me - I judge myself harshly enough.

Those with tears are incredible Moms. The love they have for their babies is evident. Every time the say "See you later", it's with heartfelt love that is evidenced by the expression on their faces. I almost became envious of this behavior. I spent many hours wondering if I was doing this 'Mom' thing right. Even wondering if I had any love for my kids at all - and then I asked my kids, "When we say goodbye and I don't cry, is that okay with you?"

And I was pleased to learn in both instances, my kids said "Yes." They both know I love them. They both know I want the best for them and expect the best out of them. Apparently, they both know that I am in their corner and excited for them.

Kids know us beyond our outward expression of emotions. They get it and they understand us. Whether you're a cryer or a ponderer, a quick kiss good-byer, a long hugger, a 'see ya later-er', or a pray-er...they know you love them. Kids know us beyond our outward facial expression.

The battle over the mind here is not whether we cry too much or too little - the battle is being okay with who you are.

I don't cry. I say good-bye and get out of the way.

I want my children to know I love them, and I'm always available for them. I will be covering them in prayer while we are apart as much as I do when we are together. I'm proud of them for stepping out into places I have not gone, for following their dreams and the passions God has placed on their heart. I am proud of them for not looking back and continuously moving forward. I hope that life is not filled with regrets or unbearable pain for them - I want only the best.

You want these things for your babies too - whether they're 3 months, 5 years, 13, 20, 32, 50 years old - whether there's a lump in our throat, a tear in our eye or a smile on our face. The point here - don't waste time comparing your love for your children to another Mom's love for her children.

Don't waste time telling yourself that you're not enough - you are enough.

You're just the Mom your kiddos need you to be.

Whether you still cut the crusts off the bread or turn the dark side of the heel inward on their PB&J, praying they'll not notice; Whether you breast or bottle feed, time out or verbal correction, free spirit dressers or Garanimal matching outfits, pacifier or fingers, strict discipline or loose character, allowance or not, chores or play, McD's or vegan, stride rite or payless.... you are enough. You have made the best decisions when they were in your hands.

And you'll continue to be enough.

And no matter what, your kids will know your heart whether your face is damp with tears or dry as a bone. Blessings, Moms - Just keep loving them. There's nothing wrong with that.